Per Request--The Weirdest Mother's Day Ever

All right, here's the whole story. If I get slammed for murmuring I'm blaming all y'all. :)

When we got to church this morning the parking lot was almost empty. TSA (The Starving Artist) and I were trying to figure out where the other ward was when I remembered, “Oh, it’s Mothers Day. In my home ward we always got out after Sacrament on Mothers Day.” We got into the building, and were encompassed in a fascinating odor. The sewage pipes had backed up, and the only room not affected was the chapel. “Sweet!” I thought, “We’re definitely going home early.”

The first speaker got up, and told us how when the first counselor asked her to speak about Mothers and Mother’s Day, he also asked her not to forget about fathers.

Because focusing on Mothers on Mother’s Day is just crazy talk.

So her entire talk was about her father. The second speaker went gender neutral and talked about “goodly parents.”

When the service ended, they announced that the smell had been fixed so we would go ahead and have all our meetings.

You know, once I thought I was going home early, all I wanted to do was leave.

We went to Sunday school and it was freezing. Turns out the only way to get rid of the smell was to set the air to max. At one point it got so cold, they turned the air off and the smell came creeping back. The choice was between stink or cold, so they chose cold.

After all, many are cold but few are frozen.

HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Oh, I kill me.

The Relief Society lesson was all about the priesthood, with one of the Bishopric counselors there as a guest speaker. The lesson ended, late, with a call to honor the men and priesthood of our ward.

On Mother’s Day.

Since we were about 15 minutes over, we jumped straight to the closing prayer, and the RS Prez was like “Oh, and since’s it Mother’s Day, the elders are waiting outside to give you carnations. To honor you.”

Except that most of the Elders were tired of waiting for us, so they just came in passed out flowers at random and then left.