Deadly Plot: FOILED!

As a ninja, discovering and evading deadly traps is considered part of a normal work day. As an office ninja, these traps often take the form of "The Empty Printer Cartridge of Doom," "The Sadistic Stapler," and the dreaded "15 Minute Before Closing Project Drop Off." Fortunately through my excellent supply acquisition skills and masterly evasion techniques, these traps no longer hold any terror for me. But imagine my surprise when I discovered an actual Deadly Trap this morning.

The following story is not for the faint of heart.

I was stationed at my post, guarding the west hallway and working on a spreadsheet (even modern ninjas can benefit from a database. How else can you prove to the ninja masters that your pro-active, non-linear ninja activity and dynamic outside-the-box thinking has produced a significant decrease in evil warlord activity through the last three quarters?) When a tiny harbringer of disease-riddled death scurried across my desk. Yes, it's truly horrifying, but a bright red tick, no bigger than a pin head, was racing straight for my mousepad. Fortunately my cat-quick reflexes kicked in and I squished him with extreme prejudice, leaving nothing but a bloody smear to mark his futile effort.

"But!" I can hear you gasp, "Corbeau, I thought you worked downtown in the middle of a major metropolitan center, surrounded by a jungle of concrete and steel as you fight evil warlords from the top floor of a building with security guards, intimidating receptionists, and bathrooms that require keys! This is not the natural habitat of the tick!"

This is true. Obviously a rival ninja has managed to discover my post, infiltrate a city park, stalk likely nesting grounds until he could collect a specimen with his ninja tweezers, and slip past my building's numerous and stalwart defenses to deposit this little bag of bio-toxins at my work station.

Truly a fiendishly clever foe. And for those of you who want to know what ninja tweezers look like: