I'm a slacker

But here's the next bit:

SS was proud of her glare. She had practiced it at home until all her mirrors melted, then she practiced it on household plants, insolent mortals, and the occasional bit of beef. She screwed up her face and directed the full might of her glare on the door, which dissolved into a lumpy mess on the floor. "Hmm," thought SS, "I sure hope they don’t try to go into orbit while there’s a giant hole in the hull; that could get messy." She shrugged and strutted inside. She found herself standing in what appeared to be a cargo bay. Just then klaxons went off, lights flared, and an angry voice gibbered over the PA. SS:

A) Makes a stand
B) Hides
C) Climbs into a ventilation shaft
D) Jumps back outside


A.) makes a stand but first, what are klaxons?


Klaxons are warning sirens/alarms...you know like AWWOOOGA AWWOOOGA, or just really irritating loud beeps, out of tune bagpipes, whatever, they’re loud and blaring.

SS could hear pounding feet nearing her location, well let them come. She struck heroic pose #72, (also practiced at home) with a slight sneer on her lips. The doors slid open to reveal a horde of

A) Aliens (like Sigourney Weaver type)
B) PUCHUUS ( A cute teddy bear type of alien)
C) Wookies
D) Democrats



although I'm tempted to go with Democrats, I'm gonna have to say Wookies.


Hordes of Wookies burst into the cargo bay, star wars blasters at the ready. A big one at the front steps forward, points at SS and says, "RREaaaarrrrrrrrrr OOWaarhhrrrrrggggg bweeeeeeeeeAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO grunt grunt"
SS cocks an eyebrow and says

A) So, who's up for fishing?
B) I don't have any bananas, but I am happy to see you.
C) What hole?
D) OOOOOOOOOOWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaarRRRRRRRRRR. EEEAAAAAAAAAOGgggggggaherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

allright, let's go for humor and pick D.


SS, face scrunched with effort, replied to the Wookie in his own language. Luckily all those hours watching Star Wars paid off. Thus commenced an incomprehensible conversation full of vowels, howling and exaggerated hand motions. Finally the Wookie, exasperated, shot her with a stun ray and threw her butt in the brig. When SS woke up, she looked around and thought "All right, what would Sydney Bristow do?" Sydney would:

A) Smooch her cute but annoying partner
B) Get beat up, but still be just fine for a later escape
C) Escape after making witty remarks to her interrogators
D) Make a big deal out of an F-150.


probably E.) all of the above, but for the sake of your little fingers typing madly away we'll say C


SS ran down the passageways of the spaceship, the remains of a metal chair hanging from her two wrist manacles. "Whew!" she thought, "good thing my Wookie interrogators spoke English so I could distract them with my witty commentary and make my escape." She ran to the bridge, planning to storm it and make the Wookies leave by force if necessary. After a running gun battle she at last came to the bridge. Using blasters she'd taken off unconscious Wookies, SS burst into the bridge. "I demand you cease your attacks at once!"
The command chair swiveled around to reveal:

A) Sauroman
B) Mr. Bean
C) Darth Vader
D) Dictator for Life


oh now you're gonna bring me into it huh? I guess it must be dictator for life.