Now, if you are a science, biology, engineer or some other strict adherence to reality major, you may believe that all it takes to be a man is a Y-chromosome. Not so my technicality minded friend. A Y-chromosome is merely a gender definition. We're talking about being a "man," man. (Pardon me, hee hee)
Okay. Here's the scoop. To qualify for the runnings you have to be taller then me by at least an inch. Hey I don't make the rules...........okay, you're right, I do make the rules; and you still have to be taller then me by at least two inches. I wear a lot of heels, okay?
Second, you have to have some definitively masculine traits. Not all of them, but at least one or two. Example, you have to know how to change the oil in the car, or rewire an electrical outlet, or be able to pick up really heavy things, like maybe me if the situation required it.
Third, you have to be a gentleman. If you think burping the alphabet is going to get you kudos I'm sure you are probably not even literate enough to be reading this. But it's more then that. How about opening the door, pulling out a chair, or offering your hand as I get out of the car? Remember my birthday, I am serious, it would also help to remember anniversaries, Christmas, and the fact that I hate anchovies. Is that so much to ask? Just remember it's the little things that count.
I ask that you please refrain from commenting about other girls' hotness in my presence, unless I comment first. Let's face it, there are some gorgeous girls out there, and I can admit that. But if you drool on me while watching some foxy vixen strut her way too short skirt down the street we are going to have an issue. Trust me.
Finally, please please please, check your ego at the door because you know what? If you were really all that I would notice it for myself and you wouldn't have to spend all that time talking yourself up. Be real, be personable, be kind. For heavens sake is there too much kindness in the world, you have to stand apart by being a tough guy? Don't dis my friends, be nice to my mom and every once in awhile send me flowers, just for the heck of it.
By the way, if you know this guy could you send him my way?
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1 comment:
But what about when I forget my birthday?
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