Tuesday, August 29, 2006

TA vs. SB

The elusive TA.
Who is this mysterious masked woman who woos weary souls with her magnificent yet elegant prose? And why has she never been photographed with the beautiful yet charming legal secretary corbeau?

TA looked at the oncoming horde of punks, hefted her bo staff and said ruefully, “you know, ninjas were never meant for crowd control. We’re more of a one-on-one, spy, steal and assassinate type warrior, so I’ll leave this to your more applicable talents”
DFL rounded on TA with a furious gaze, “Don’t you dare!!” she began angrily but the diminutive ninja had already gone, fading into the dappled shadows of the park with nary a sound to betray her.
The quickest way to stop the roving punk-horde would be to take out its leader, TA reasoned as she stealthy made her way through the park to SB. After all, if you cut the head off a chicken, did it not run around wildly spurting arterial blood and shrieking its death clucks? TA felt that this metaphor didn’t quite fit the situation, but she had no time to work on it as she was now perched in the leafy tree branches directly above SB. For his part, SB was bouncing lightly on his toes in time to the music, with his fist pumping the air above his head as he chanted his punk battle cry of “Oi! Oi!! Oi!!” or possibly “Oy! Oy!! Oy!!!”
TA dropped out of the tree and onto SB’s oversized melon. She grabbed his arm and twisting in midair used her momentum to flip him over her head and into the ground. TA recovered smoothly from the throw, gliding into a defensive stance as SB popped up from the ground and brushed himself off. “Please” he smirked “I’m a skater, I take harder falls than that for fun.” TA narrowed her eyes, it was time to take the cocky punk down.
Time seemed to slow as SB drew back his arm, his entire body telegraphing his intended punch. TA sidestepped in close, blocking the punch with her left arm while driving her right elbow deep into his solar plexus. As SB doubled over she shifted her stance, grabbed his ears and slammed his head on her knee.
“That was easy” TA thought as she stood over SB’s crumpled and broken form. She began rifling through his clothes, looking for clues and other pertinent items of interest. “Jinkies!” TA yelped as she pocketed the weather machine control. Suddenly the park was overrun by screaming punks, running madly through the trees as they fled for their lives. Behind them stormed a bruised and bloodied WW, screaming her battle cry. In her hands as she hefted what looked like the hind leg of a cow which she used to batter anything in her way.
“Well” TA said conversationally to SB’s unconscious form, “It looks like WW is finally having some fun. I suppose that means I’ll have to carry you.” She finished with a sigh as she hefted SB into a fireman’s carry and went looking for the rest of her team.

All right, only two more to go:

A: WW
B: DFL

3 comments:

W.W. said...

I will be a sport and vote for myself and leave the best for last.

Anonymous said...

um, who is the most fun? do i really have to decide between ww and dfl? i guess we'll do with ww, since she is the only one who has responded to this... :)

Anonymous said...

who knew ta was so violent? =P i'm all for the red white and blue! go ww!