Medieval Times

Saturday I went with a group of friends into Maryland to go to Medieval Times. Its a massive restaurant designed like a castle with an inside arena. Based on the order you arrive, you are given a colored crown and a number. (They look like Burger King crowns.) We had red and yellow crowns, so we sat in the red and yellow section, and were told that our knight was the red and yellow knight. To our right sat the green knight section. The green knight was our immortal enemy and we were to boo him at every opportunity. Since he ended up riding past us quite a bit we booed him with gusto and he sneered back. He sneered well.

The yellow knight section, seated across and up from us, was filled with soccer hooligans. Or perhaps they spent the hour wait at the bar (you get there an hour early so you can shop and look at their stuff), or perhaps both, because they screamed and hollared and had a chant of "Blue Sucks!" going for at least 5 minutes. They also got chastised by security a couple of times. Watching the yellow section was almost as entertaining as the show itself.

You are served several courses, all of which you eat with your hands. We got Tomato Bisque in a bowl with a handle, garlic bread (aka Texas Toast), 1/2 a small chicken, a pork rib, (seriously, a single rib) an herb roasted potato, and an apple tart.

While you eat there's a story, they have the horses do all kinds of cool tricks, bows, dances that sort of thing. They had a falconer, which was awesome, and the knights did all kinds of tricks. They grabbed flags from the ground, threw them to each other, threw lances at a target, grabbed tiny rings with their lances, all kinds of funness.

Our knight, the red and yellow knight, also known as The Stealth Knight, which apparently won out over Sir Baby-Face, or Sir Sucks-a-Lot (our knight died in the first joust, the only knight without a single win. We had to content ourselves with cheering for whoever killed his killer, and booing the Green Knight.)

It was a lot of fun. The Princess was annoying, but whenever she was talking there was a pink light, so you could ignore her and focus on tearing apart your chicken by hand.

I also bought a mango slushy in an awesome looking black glass.