American Idol

NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AAHH!! I hate hate HATE Tatiyana. Whatever her name is, the super annoying beauty queen. Her voice gives me shingles! Now we'll all be at the mercy of the "Vote for the Worst" people.

I realize I'm a little late on these, but I'm finally watching the finalist episodes.

Holy Freaking Crap!!

Idol is doing Andrew Lloyd Weber??!!

How did that happen?

You better not mess it up Idols!!

They're freaking pop singers gosh darn it!

Let's blog this sucker.

Paula Paula Paula. Will you ever make sense?

Syesha

Are ALW's pants purple courdaroy? They look a bit like the Joker's from Adam West's Batman series.

Is she standing on the piano? Bonus points for that.
Is that the conductor? Or do they just have some random Broadway dude there for theaterical dancing purposes?

I thought she did pretty good. Much better here than in her Whitney Houston songs.

Ha ha, the music cut Paula off!
Oh wait, that guy is the conductor.

How adorable does Wall.E look? I can't wait to see it.

Dreadlock kid aka Jason

MEMORY!!! NOOOO!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!! HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS FROM CATS??!!???!!

Dude, you're KILLING me.

ALW is totally in Joker pants.

Aw dude, he's totally popped it up. He looks like a lounge singer.

You know what would make me happy? If Elaine Paige came out and whacked him upside the head. Time for the FF button.

Randy's trying to be nice. It was a trainwreck dog. Me and Randy, we totally agree.

Balladeer? Is that even a word? Sounds like someone who rodeos deer for a living.

ha ha ha, Simon is so right!! I was miserable, Simon was miserable, "longest two minutes of your life." HA!

Brook:

He's directing her. How cool!

OOHHHH!!!! Messed up the words right at the beginning! That is the kiss of death girl.

She's trying really hard, but I'm not feeling it. I really want her to belt. I don't think she can though. She's just not a belter.

I'm going to go with a 'meh.'

Wow, Paula doesn't even have "you look nice" comment? I told you that start/stop was a kiss of death.

She looks likes she's about to cry. Let her go backstage, for pity's sake.

Little Davey:

You know, ALW did write songs for men. Why aren't these guys singing them?

Let's see if he keeps his eyes open. Hmmm, I can't tell. They're all squinty. He's like the anti-Sarah Brightman with her enormous,wide-open, freaky peepers.

C'mon, he's singing some bizarre version of "Think of Me" the comparison was inevitable.

ALW is in the audience? Don't they have some sort of VIP, box seat for him? (Box 5? HA HA HAH AH AHAHA!!! Oh, I kill me.)

Yeah Simon, I didn't like it either.

Carly aka Irish Girl:

Yeah, ALW saved her. Thank heavens. Stop Butchering PHANTOM!!!

I can't see Carly being all girly either.

Heh, she looks like she's having a blast. This and the first one are my favorites.

Actually, this may be my favorite Carly performance.

HA!! I love her Simon Loves Me (this week) tshirt.

David Cook:

Another Phantom song. At least he's singing a song written for a man.

ha, "Don't Laugh! Pretend I'm the most gorgeous young girl you've ever seen!"

I'm going to have to watch the movie again after all these Phantom songs.

Eh, I'm not feeling it.

What is that thing hanging from his belt? Scarf? Flag? Ascot? Tablecloth? WHAT?

Oohhh, maybe it's his really big bandanna-ish phantom mask.

The judges really liked it. Perhaps it was a lot better in real life.

Seacrest must be stopped. Please, no more singing Ryan.

Quickie Notes

1. Yesterday, I managed to knock down a pin with a freaking gutter ball.

I'm just that GOOD.

The people on the teams to either side of me said it was truly impressive.

2. Today at work, I was given a bag of Amish Friendship Bread.
Right now, it's just a ziplock bag of cold yellow goo with a complicated sheet of instructions.

But after several days of kneading and fermenting at room temperature, it will bake into some delicious bread.

Or so I'm told.

3. Danny O is SLAUGHTERING the Carpenters on American Idol. Make it stop!

4. I got new shoes for my Krav class. They're these cool looking, black suede wrestling mat shoes. Neat!! Because when you're learning to boot people in the head, you should have some good looking shoes on.

5. The third Maximum Ride novel is out in paperback!! I also got the latest Rachel Morgan book, and I'm halfway through Blink. Of course, I'm about to start a big OT project at work, and it's killing me. MUST ... READ....NEW BOOOKS!!

Hmm, do I really need 7 hours a night?

Yo Yo Yo Dawg!

American Idol is 2 hours long? SERIOUSLY!!

Dude, I can't stay up that late. Especially with Randy and Paula talking so very long, and so very incoherently.

And for some good news:

I bowled a 125 tonight.

WHOOO!!!!! I don't TOTALLY SUCK!!

Feel free to do a celebratory dance with me.

WHoo! WHoo!

Creepy!!

Is anyone else watching American Idol? With the creepy identical twins who are dating the same girl?

EEK!!!

What is that?!

Oh heavens they're beat-boxers. Ooops. I hate when you forget the words to your own rap song.

American Idol Finale

I no longer have a horse in this race, so I'll just offer my brief analysis that Blake has been stronger throughout the season, but Jordin sang better last night.

Who will be declared the winner tonight? I honestly have no idea.

I've moved on you see. To Thursday. And the show that brought us dancing zombies.



Bring on the Crazy Mary Juice!!

Update: I'd almost forgotten about this dance. It even made Benji look hot.



Update update: Speaking of hot, can you believe that I can't find a clip of the Latin dance where Dmitri took off his shirt? This has shaken my faith in youtube.

American Idol

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Curse You Tweeners!!! CURSE YOU!!!!

Man, now I don't even care who wins. Good bye Mindy Doo. You were always my favorite. I hope you have an amazing career, and if you put out an album, I will totally buy it.

*sniff*

American Idol-Latin night

This was actually pretty dang boring. Even the ick factor of Sanjaya's attempt at facial hair was dull, leaving only a mild distaste to add to my general loathing.

This little gem from The Soup is much more entertaining.

American Idol- Theme?

Does anyone know what the theme was last night? I couldn't decide what it was. Disco, 70s, Gwen Stefani?

Sting?

I will kill him!

That being said, the exciting thing last night was that Gina and Phil came from behind with some amazing performances. While I missed Gina's rock entertainment, her vocals were a lot better with the ballad.

Lakisha and Mindy Doo were excellent as always, even singing disco numbers. I especially liked Mindy Doo's outfit, which looked like it could of come from the League of Superheroes.

Jordin sang "Hey Baby" and wore a tablecloth she swiped from an Italian bistro. Her vocals were good, but the song sounded wierd without all the bass and pop background stuff from the original.

Than there was Sanjaya. *shudder* He seems to have irritated Gwen Stefani and she gave us the best line of the night when she said "he chose it, so good luck for him" regarding his song choice. Closely followed by Simon's "It doesn't matter what we say." Yes, Sanjaya is so bad, that even Simon has given up.

And don't even get me started on his hair.

+
= Sanjaya's do.

American Idol

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!! Gah! The Pain!!! Father!! The Sleeper Must Awaken!!


Many have tried to be the Next American Idol.
They tried and failed?
They tried and died.

Sorry, something about watching Sanjaya's horrible attempt at sexy made me feel like I was undergoing some viscious test of willpower. Like sticking my hand in a pain box or transmuting the water of life. I'm better now.

I guess one good thing about his performance was that it led to the insta-fame of a sobbing little girl who got more air time than say, Uchenna and Joyce on Amazing Race. She made the Washinton Post today. You go little girl. I'm guessing you're either thrilled or moritified, depending on your personality.

Let's see, the British Invasion brought us a whole lot of ballads, which means lots of Fast Forwarding.

I correctly identified Lakisha's number as a Bond song, I enjoyed Gina's rock even though her vocals aren't the greatest, and Blake was the best male vocal of the evening.

And of course, the lovely Melinda Doolittle. Entertainment Weekly has dubbed her Mindy Doo, which is lots of fun to chant at the screen. Mindy Doo! Mindy Doo!

She chose a song from Oliver! though, which is a little strange. You need to be a little more contemporary Mindy Doo. Pick a song that's getting air time on the radio, so you don't loose the kiddie vote.

Haley risked the pity vote by vamping it up. However, her inablity to sing staccatto or look anything less than perky made her rendition of "Tell him" made the whole performance rather...odd.

What did you guys think?

UPDATE: Curse you Crying Girl Tweeners!!! Curse YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!!

American Idol

Wow, just when I thought Sanjay couldn't get any worse, he perms his hair and puts on old lady earrings.

No wonder his performance led to the creation of Simon's most tortured metaphor ever.

Randy's comment about the only good part being the back up singers was hilarious.

And with all the people forgetting lyrics, (from Diana Ross songs!) there's just no reason to put Phil in the bottom three.

Come on America!! Send Sanjay home!!!

Not that I'm sad Brandon was eliminated. His constant googly-eyes and weak vocals were irritating, but he's still better than Sanjay.

Haley maintains her iron grip on the pity vote. Simon tried to break it by telling her nice things about her cringe-inducing performance, but I think she rallied by crying gratefully at the first hint of praise.

Why, America? Why?!!

Why do you inflict yet another week of Sanjay's tortured warblings, awkward stage presence, and creepy hair on us all?
Seriously, what demographic does this guy appeal to that he keeps staying on week after week?
Pre-teens?
Grandmas?
The mafia?
Who!!!

Thank you noble fast forward button. You're all that stands between me and the horrors of Sanjay.

As for everyone else, I was a little surprised that Haley beat out Sabrina for the last girl spot. But there I blame the mechanics of the AI pity vote, which has ousted better singers for their weaker opponents before. The theory goes, the judges were mean to Haley, so people gave her a pity vote, whereas nobody voted for Sabrina, because she seemed like such a sure thing that they assumed everyone else had all ready voted for her.
It's irritating, but also an interesting example of mass psychology, so I'm cool with it.

Sleepy...

Oh so sleeeeepy.

I only caught the first part of AI last night, but I want to thank the girl for starting out with Pat Benatar's Heartbreaker. That made me happy.

I also remember watching Heroes, which ended with everyone caught up in some dire cliffhanger only to go on haitus until the end of April.

Jerks.

Sorry, I have no recap, but here's my two cents worth of thoughts. I think Ma Petrelli is pulling strings to rival Linderman.

I can't wait to watch Peter and Sylar throw down. Yeah!! Sylar the brain eater story line has gotten old, and it's time for him to get taken down.

American Idol: Snooze Fest

Thank heavens for DVR. This was a pretty low start for the top 12 guys. Where on earth did the get their song list? And that background animation screen! I haven't seen those kinds of backgrounds since my last school picture of mandatory humilation.

So let's see, I can't remember their names, but here's my sum up.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hey! Beat Box Guy can sing!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ha ha! Teletubby slam!!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hmmm, the guy that went last was all right.

There you go. My indepth analysis of AI. Tonight we'll see if the girls fair any better.