Anyway, the other half of my team, "K" my buddy, and I have been at war this week.
It all started on Monday when I bought a bag of ButterRum flavored life savers for my candy dish. Upon opening the bag, I discovered that the life savers were in an unfortunate color most commonly known as "Baby Poop Brown."
But I figured, eh, it's free candy so whatever and I threw some on top of the stash.
Everything seemed fine until K swung by later that morning for first pickings. She found the presence of these lifesavers morally offensive, and proceeded to bury them under all the other candy... pretty much guaranteeing that the Reese's would all be gone by 10. (I fill my candy dish strategically, natch)
Tuesday, I made sure that the lifesavers covered the entire top of the dish. K waited for me to leave and then proceeded to bury every last one of them on the bottom of the bowl.
Wednesday I came into work early. I grabbed the bag of lifesavers (I still had plenty. They really were unpopular, but that's not the point) I snuck into K's station, and proceeded to hide lifesavers.
Throughout the rest of the day K became more and more enraged as the evil "nasty brown disgusting" lifesavers appeared in drawers, files, paperclips boxes etc.
The best part was that since she had made such a fuss about how much she hated these lifesavers, she actually had a couple of suspects.
She found out it was me though, around number 5, when I could no longer keep a straight face. That was when she hit me with....the curse of the bottle.
K has a Jones Soda holiday special issue "Turkey with Gravy" soda from LAST YEAR's holidays. She displayed it proudly throughout the end of 2006, the better to disgust everybody who passed her desk. It also led to the Curse of the Bottle, with everyone constantly asking her when she was going to drink it.
Thursday morning, I found it on my desk, with a lifesaver displayed next to it. One couldn't help but notice that both candy and soda were the same shade of disturbing brown.
The curse began it's hideous work. I was able to stave it off at first with "I can't drink it. It doesn't belong to me" but the pressure mounted. K suggested that I was too chicken to drink a year old novelty soda, and I bravely replied that I had once eaten a year old German Chocolate shake (it's true!), and that I would be just fine.
She said something along the lines of "Oh yeah?" and possibly "I triple dog dare you!"
And that's how, at 4:00 this lovely afternoon, I found myself swigging down a chilled (I insisted on it being cold) turkey and gravy soda, which had been aged gently in a desk drawer, for a year.
It had a peachy sent to it that was actually quite pleasant. I poured some into a cup (it still had fizz!) and took a healthy swallow.
Good heavens that was some nasty crap.
I didn't puke (please, I have a stomach of steel) but I'm told my face turned an interesting variety of colors.
Update: I thought a visual might be nice. So here's the soda, although mine had the picture of a cooked turkey on it.
3 comments:
You are so easy to dare into things. You have lost your touch. You must go to nija school and become a master.
oh brave ninja. i stand in awe of your stomach of steel.
...going to think of something heinous to dare you to do....
I think it's the cubicle lifestyle. It drives you crazy. One minute your a practical, reasonable woman, the next your drinking Turkey Gravy Soda.
Post a Comment