Story: The Hunt for WW: Part II

**A long panning helicopter shot of thick, verdant forest. Birds chirp, squirrels nibble at a cuteness factor of 11, and a woman in a nun’s habit spins madly in a field of wildflowers. The camera zooms past all of these to a slightly less pristine area of the forest. Trees have been uprooted, their branches raking up ash from long scorch marks along the ground. Rocks have been blasted out of the ground, and the ground has been churned to a thick, gooey mud. The camera follows the path of destruction, through the trees to the edge of a small lake. On the shore, a Swedish cottage on chicken legs scratches at the sand nervously. To its left a small ninja stands, watching the cottage intently as she holds a can of aerosol hairspray and a lighter at the ready. She is also wearing a bright orange construction vest and a hard hat over her traditional ninja black. On the right is DFL, who is also wearing construction gear over her clothes, although her safety vest has been tailored and the helmet is cocked at a rakish angle. She idly taps a roll of blueprints against her leg as BSA, in front of the house, also in construction safety gear, tries to talk the cottage into settling down.**

“Look” BSA explains, “I don’t think you fully understand the benefits of indoor plumbing. You wouldn’t have to put up with that obnoxious outhouse anymore. Plus when you’re all beautiful, we can have an open house and give tours. There will even be cookies! Look!” She proudly held up a platter full of chocolate chip cookies. “Who can say no to cookies?”

The cottage looked skeptical. BSA sighed, “This just isn’t the same without the bus. We need the bus!” She glared at TA.
“I’m not asking the Bag o’Stuff for a bus and neither are you. Why, it gets the shivers just thinking about it.” TA answered calmly, never taking her eyes off the chicken house.
“Fine” BSA grumbled then addressed the cottage again, “Well, we’ve sent your owner on a very special tour of this enchanted forest, guided by our very own Amazon, WW.”

** Cut shot to WW, who for some reason is up a pine tree, covered in sap and fending off angry squirrels while the witch laughs. ***

“See?” BSA asked the cottage, “They’re having a lovely time. Now’s your chance to become the house you’ve always wanted to be.”

The cottage sighed and started to sink, its chicken feet disappearing as it came to rest gently on the ground. DFL danced in, “Yeah! I win! I win! I win!”
“What do you mean YOU win?” BSA demanded as she walked into the cottage. It was my brilliant scheme.”
“Okay, so we have the house, now what?” TA entered the cottage cautiously, looking for traps hidden in the quiet, Swedish décor.
“Hmm, I don’t suppose you know any contractors that happen to live in an enchanted forest?” BSA asked her friends. The both looked at her blankly but outside the window there was a chorus of high pitched twitters.
The three friends walked over to the window and looked down, where an army of tiny pixie contractors had appeared.
“What the ..” TA muttered
“We love Extreme Home Makeover!” one yelled.
“Ty Pennington!!” another screamed before fainting.
“Where’s the bus?” a third piped up. TA tried to stomp on that one, but he dodged her easily.
“Let’s help these people out!” the little elves cried as they began swarming into the house.
“Oh Sick!” one of the little brownies had landed on DFL’s shoulder. She flicked him off, “Hey, it stole my blueprints! What are these things?” She demanded over the sudden roar of hammers, saws, and power tools.
“Contractors!” BSA clapped her hands, “They just can’t resist the lure of EHM.”
Once the dust settled and the pixies marched off (each one receiving a cookie for their work) our heroes took a tour of the new, Victorian Chicken House. There was a winding staircase, curving majestically down to a marbled foyer. Large windows lit expansive rooms causing the rich, dark wooden furniture to shine with glossy pride. The bedrooms upstairs were catered to the tastes of each of our four heroines.
“It’s lovely DFL” BSA said as she emerged from her walk-in closet, “But it’s supposed to be designed around the old witch lady. You know, the one that’s kidnapped WW?”
“Yes, but there’s been a change in plan. I’ve commandeered this house in the interest of no longer hiking around this ridiculous forest.”
“I think the witch might object and as fun as it would be to steal a walking house, we still have to get WW back.” TA pointed out helpfully.
“Perhaps we could talk her into selling it.” BSA eagerly whipped out a note pad and calculator and began scribbling furiously.
“Well whatever, but we are taking this house. It’s getting dark and Dictators don’t camp.”

So kids, do our heroes:

A: Trade the house for WW
B: Steal the house and WW
C: Attempt to buy the house after freeing WW
D: Run off and join the pixie clan