Awesome

They've combined two of my favorite things, Jane Austen and Violence.

Beautiful Day

I've told myself that I need to start writing again. I've been slacking off these past few months.

I love cool, rainy days in Spring. The tulip trees are blooming, the cherry blossoms are about to start, and its been in the 70s.

It would've been a perfect day except that I took an elbow to the nose in Krav. What makes this even more exciting is that I have my work physical tomorrow, so let's all hope it doesn't swell or bruise.

On Pull Ups

Krav has a new pull up bar installed in the gym. It hangs from the ceiling, can support about 8 people at once, and is high enough for tall guys to find challenging.

If I do a running jump I can usually grab it.

But I cannot do a pull up. I've never been able to do a pull up. When I was at my peak in the Navy the best I could manage was chin ups, but never a pull up.

Like the mighty T-Rex, I have weak and useless forearms. So I've decided that should be my Krav name. T-Rex.

Anyway, since I can't do a pull up they either get the box out so I can stand on it and do chin ups or, like today, I just have to grab the bar and hang as long as possible. My arms are killing me.

Deep Fried Oreos and Crunches

On Sat I went to the Maryland Ren Faire, an enormous affair of shops, shows and food on a stick. They offer Chicken on stick, Beef on a stick, sausage on a stick, Mac n' cheese on a stick (its deep fried in triangles, then put on a stick) and cheesecake on a stick. I had ribs, fried potatoes, mac n' cheese on a stick, part of a turkey leg, deep fried oreos, and cheesecake on a stick. (The cheesecake isn't fried, its frozen and then dipped in chocolate. It was delicious) I felt everyone of those delactible items tonight in Krav. Especially when we did ab exercises. I chanted "Bye bye Oreos" in my head once the flutterkicks started getting really painful. We also did shopping, saw some shows, and the joust. They also had a booth where you could throw 7 chinese stars for 2 bucks. If you got four in the heart you got a free drink. It was more difficult than I thought. Its a weird cross between throwing a baseball and skipping a rock. By the time I managed to get the knack of it, I had a nice little cluster going. One board over from the painted heart. Never could get them to curve left. However, of all the people up there, I was the only one who managed to throw all 7 stars to the target wall. My friends told me someone in the audience said, "That girl's got a good arm!"

Monday Night Awesomeness

On Monday night I went to Krav. There were only four of us there, so the instructor participated in the mass attacker drill.

You had to start in the center of the circle, sitting down with eyes closed and then when it started you had to jump up and fight your way out of the circle. Meanwhile, the attackers tried to keep you on the ground, knocking you over and then put you in a choke. (We'd been practicing the defense all class).

So when I started I jumped up just as the instructor barreled into me. He tried to take me to the ground but I managed to flip him and put him into the choke. I was so stunned at my own success that I actually stopped, looked down at him, and said "Now what do I do?" He was too busy laughing in delight to answer, so one of the other students yelled out "Punch him in the face!"

I felt very proud of myself.

While I was grappling with the instructor, I felt him graze my face. It didn't hurt so I didn't think anything about it.

Until I went home, and noticed that I had a swollen spot of purple and blue right at the corner of my eye.

I have the world's smallest black eye.

Krav Report

On Monday, we used dizzy bats to simulate fighting drunk.

I was horrible at it. Fortunately my sparring partner was a big, tall guy, so I didn't have to aim so much as just stagger in his general direction.

Ground Defense

This week is ground fighting in Krav Maga. Ground fighting always leaves me black and blue, since it requires all kinds of force pushing you in all kinds of places.

Today we learned how to defend a headlock while mounted, and my sparring partner was a man who was at least twice my weight.

At least. I mean, when I was the attacker, straddling his stomach, my knees didn't quite touch the ground.

I didn't mind too much though, since ground fighting is the one instance where the instructors like you to practice with someone who is bigger than you, since another name for "ground defense" could be "rape defense."

It was much more difficult to flip him though. Possible, but much more difficult. It required explosive bursts and twists off the ground, plus quick recovery and attack in order to make it work. It was good experience though, since I learned some physics tricks to help in that situation. But I am black and blue all over.

I was going to stay an extra hour today and take the Level 1 class, but my right leg (which took the brunt of the class) informed me that it was a bad idea.

So now I'm home, with a bowl of cereal and ice pack. Life is good.

Krav Maga Hybrid

There were only 3 of us that attended the fit class Sat morning, so the instructor had us finish up with something new. Something he called, "The Krav Maga Hybrid."

The three of us ran behind his car, pushing it around the building.

Twice.

Why does any building need three speed bumps anyway?

Krav Report

Last night, we learned how to head butt.

Head freaking butt.

It was fun, but if its done properly and full force, you can only rep 4 or 5 of them before you start getting loopy.

I have to admit that the streak of mad scientist in me finds the thought of breaking someone's nose with my massive cranium very satisfying. In fact, I think this calls for some evil laughter.

Mwa ha ha ha.

We also learned a defense to being grabbed from behind. In an effort to make it more realistic, we had to stand with our eyes closed and wait for random attacks, because the defense is meant to work when you are off balance. If you're anticipating the attack, you don't get off balance.

Well, I definitely wasn't anticipating because I got pulled to the ground and found myself fighting from an awkward kneeling position. But the instructor was pleased, since a mess up showed that I was training properly.

When it was my turn to be a roving attacker, I actually managed to take a big guy to the ground.
I had to jump to even reach his neck, and figured he would probably just shake me off but what figured, "Why not?"

I jumped, grabbed and next thing I know he was on his butt on the ground.

Usually the attacker grabs the neck and pulls back, but since I jumped all the pull went straight down and he lost his balance.

Judging by the amount of times he came to thank me for giving him "good training" I'm guessing he doesn't get taken down very often. But he was grateful because he never thought about dealing with a jumper and, quite frankly, that's about how 80% of people would have to attack him.

Jump Rope, the Infernal Device

I went to the Krav aerobic workout this morning. Today, part of the workout included some intensive jump rope work, that I told the instructor that I couldn't do. "Nonsense." He said, "If I can do it anyone can do it." I couldn't do it. So he spent quite a bit of time during the workout teaching me how to jump a rope. I got pretty good at it by the end, although I still couldn't manage the jump I was supposed to do.

Status Report

So its been three days since I've been back and I'm over jet lag and any day now I'm going to make it to the grocery store.

But Monday morning, 5 am came awfully early.

I've been trying to get a schedule change at work since December, and it was supposed to go in effect the Monday I got back. However, no one seemed to remember this but me. It wasn't on any of my emails, it wasn't in the time system, and no one in admin seemed to know what I was talking about, so I just worked a normal schedule.

Tuesday I got an email that said, basically "Congrats! You're schedule change has been approved. You owe us an hour." So I've had to work late for the past two days. Its alright though, because I finally have my schedule change.

Tonight I worked until 5, and then drove straight to Krav. It was a sparring day, and I felt everyone of the 14 days since I'd been there last.

And the onion rings I had for lunch.

During the push ups I could feel my arms whimpering something along the lines of "I thought we weren't doing this anymore! We've gone all weak and wobbly!"

On the upside, there was a really good looking guy there tonight. On the downside, I accidentally kneed him in the groin during mass attacker drill.

Hard, judging by the amount of time he spent in the bathroom.

I feel really bad about it.

Krav Story

Tonight, I managed to kick up to a guy's head with my right roundhouse.

Its Wretched HOT!

A story to help warm my poor cold family members stuck in the snowy West.

The weather in Virginia has decided to shake things up a bit by jumping right into summer. No gradual spring thaw, that's for sissies. What we need is July. July hit on Friday, and temperatures having been hanging out above 80 ever since, giving us a chance to realize that something has gone horribly wrong with our AC.

But beyond sweaty, personal discomfort, the unusually high temperatures have wreaked havoc with the local vegetation. The plants are freaking out. In my head, they sound like this.
"Wait? Where did Spring go? We slept through SPRING?!! Ohmygosh! Whatwedo!Whatwedo!Whatwedo?! POLLINATE!!"

Now everything is covered in a thick yellowish-green powder. Every time I walk across the parking garage at my work, I look at the floor and all I can think of is my high school algebra class, where the board and teacher existed in their own personal cloud of chalk. Every time I open my car door, there's a dramatic swirl of yellow-green, like I'm living in a bad Sci-Fi movie. Its crazy. My nose has entered a permanently sneezing/dripping state, but I'm still better off than most people with allergies. Some of them are really sick.

I went to Krav last night, and it turns out the dojo is also having trouble getting their AC up and running to July capacities. I think I sweated out about 3 gallons worth of water. Today, I went and invested in some under armor workout gear. It wicks the sweat away! After drilling for the first half hour, we learned some new self defense moves which required a grab. That was interesting given how slippery everyone was at the point. Our instructor pointed out that learning how to fight/grab someone who was slippery was good training. After all, you could always get attacked in the rain. Or fight when bloody. Or when you just happen to be REALLY sweaty.

It was fun.

Krav Story

Tonight, we learned how to do spin kicks.

Spin Freaking Kicks.

The thing about Spin Kicks, is that you feel really cool when you do them. Even if you say, miss the pad entirely. Cool.

We also did an advancing side kick that was a lot of fun too.

Random Tidbits

I finally saw the finale Galactica. I liked it! I LOVED the final battle between the Galactica and the Colony. And that final jump?

MAN! So intense! Loved it.

The other night, at Krav, I accidentally popped my sparring partner in the nose. I didn't hit him hard, we were only going 40%, and he was supposed to defend it, but he missed and THWOK. Right in the nose. It started bleeding, a little bit. I felt really bad, and I said I was sorry.

When it was his turn to throw shots at me, I ended up missing one and took a right cross to the face. It didn't bruise, and I guess turn about is fair play. :)

Rainbow Trout Fu

Last night, in Krav, we had a drill where you had to fight off four attackers, while defending your helpless partner. (Once again I was the only woman there)

When I was the defender, one of my attackers tried to put me in a head lock. But when he tried it I just popped out and then attacked him from behind. It surprised me and him, but then everyone was trying to put me in a headlock (I don't know if the instructor told them to or not) and everytime I slipped right out without even trying to hard.

Part of me was like "YEAH!! You all may be bigger and stronger than me, but none of you are as slippery as me!"

Finally one of the third level guys managed to get me in the hold and lock it before I could wiggle out and I performed the proper technique.

Also, at some point my hair band got pulled out and my hair went into full dandelion puff mood. I couldnt' see a thing.

Krav Story

Tonight, at Krav, we played hot potato with a 25 lbs medicine ball. If you dropped it or missed, you had to do push ups.

I had to do push ups twice. I would argue that only one of them counts however. We were in squares of four people and there was a guy who looked like Mr. Clean across from me diagonally. When he threw the ball to me across the diagonal, I didn't really drop it. It was more like I fell over backwards with it.

Tonight we did sparring. This was the first time in a 2nd level sparring class that I managed to hold my own against all the mens. Usually I end up dodging and blocking like mad in a desperate attempt to get hit less. But tonight, not only did I throw attacks, I managed to get hits in.

Yeah me!

Krav Maga

I sort of slept through Krav fit this morning, so I just ended up doing one class. I know Nan wanted to see a video, but I don't know how my instructors would feel about that.

I found some videos on youtube that show what we do though, so enjoy!




And these guys are going through the self defense moves:

Krav Story

Work has been insane, but I did make it to Krav on Tuesday. We learned a wicked cool wrist lock that's really hard to do. But my instructor, who is awesome, is really good at wrist locks.

If you do the lock right, it becomes a take down, but like I said, it's tricky. My partner was trying it and I was easily resisting (and I am not hard to take down) so the instructor came over and said, "No do it like this" he showed us the correct hand placement, then flexed some muscles and next thing I knew I was on the ground and making a weird noise that sounded like "AAHH-EEP"

He didn't hurt me, but it was uncomfortable not to mention surprising.

Saturday Krav

Now that I'm better I've decided to get a little more serious about my fitness, so I decided to go to the Krav fit class, which focuses on cardio and aerobic workout circuits.

It is BRUTAL. In Krav fit, running laps = break period. Unless of course you're running too slow, and then the instructor says "Catch the person in front of you!" and if that doesn't work, it turns into "I'm not calling a waterbreak until someone catches the person in front of them!" thus initiating the most desperate game of tag ever.

When things get hard, the instructor yells out "Put your mind somewhere else!" so I thought "I will look hot in a bikini. I will look hot in a bikini. I will look hot in a bikini."

And we got to the weighted crunches, doing crunches with a 5 pound medicine ball, I thought to myself "bikini. bikini. bikini."

And when we got to the weighted squats, I thought "I'm going to puke. Oh I'm going to puke."

But I didn't and I even survived the Level 1 class afterwords. But when it came to the 3rd hour Level 2 class, I was done. One of the instructors started giving me a hard time, but I looked him right in the eye, and said "I will puke and die."

He laughed and said "go home."

Later tonight I'm going to a party, and hopefully this doesn't all catch up to me so that I'm ready to drop at like 8 tonight.