From the always amusing tvinjapan.
This is a web capture from a Japanese Flash game. It features Victorian women having a slap-fest. Work out your mad mouse skills and exorcise all those Victorian anger issues.
I like to think of the participants as characters from various works of classic literature.
First screen: Pride and Prejudice.
Elizabeth and the uppity Ms. Bingley.
Let that snobby wench know that her attentions towards Mr. Darcy are unappreciated!
The second: Jane Eyre.
Jane Eyre vs. Just About Anybody.
Jane is mad as the Dickens and she's not taking it anymore!
The third: Rebecca
The Nameless Wonder vs. The Creepy Housekeeper (Mrs. Danvers?)
I know I spent the whole book wishing the girl would stand up for herself.
The fourth: Any Dickens Book
Because he always features creepy, evil, old people.
The fifth, featuring the big boss:
I'll admit I'm at a loss here. I can't think of any obese people from literature.
Does Ursula from Little Mermaid count?
If you want to play the game, you can find it here: Slapfest!
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Hooray for Bad Writing!
The results of the 2007 Bulwer-Lytton contest are here!
The contest is based on the writings of Bulwer-Lytton, the man who first wrote "It was a dark and stormy night..."
Contestants enter a single sentence, and try to make it as horrible as possible.
And what better way to spend a muggy afternoon then perusing the finest of some truly awful writing.
My favorites are almost always from the Detective Category.
Winner: Detective
I'd been tailing this guy for over an hour while he tried every trick in the book to lose me: going down side streets, doubling back, suddenly veering into shop doorways, jumping out again, crossing the street, looking for somewhere to make the drop, and I was going to be there when he did it because his disguise as a postman didn't have me fooled for a minute.
Bob Millar
Hässelby, Sweden
Runner-Up
She'd been strangled with a rosary-not a run-of-the-mill rosary like you might get at a Catholic bookstore where Hail Marys are two for a quarter and indulgences are included on the back flap of the May issue of "Nuns and Roses" magazine, but a fancy heirloom rosary with pearls, rubies, and a solid gold cross, a rosary with attitude, the kind of rosary that said, "Get your Jehovah's Witness butt off my front porch."
Mark Schweizer
Hopkinsville, KY
Dishonorable Mention
What shocked Juliette as she entered the room was not that there was an escaped convict under her coverlet snuggling with her best teddy bear, but that there was a knife through his back, "And who," she wondered out loud, steadying herself against the faux-taffeta wallpaper, "would stab a teddy bear?"
Katie Alender
Studio City, CA
I also like this third place winner for Fantasy:
Dishonorable Mention
At Elvenheim there was great joy, in that the legendary Ring of the Nordlings had been retrieved from the evil Sudlings by the hero Bill Baggydrawers, who it must be said looked nothing like a hero, at least none I've ever seen, and the Ring had once again been placed on the middle finger of the left hand of the Elvenking, who did rather resemble a king, even if his buck teeth made him look for all the world like a great rabbit.
Wayne McCoy
Gainesville Fl
Here are some excellent dishonorable mentions from the Purple Prose category:
The highway coiled up and around the mountain like a snake ready to strike because it was being harassed by one of those annoying guys on "Animal Planet."
Brent Sheppard
Morganton, NC
The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife, not even a sharp knife, but a dull one from that set of cheap knives you received as a wedding gift in a faux wooden block; the one you told yourself you'd replace, but in the end, forgot about because your husband ran off with another man, that kind of knife.
Lisa Lindquist
Oak West, Jackson, MI
Hah! Love the Runner up in the Romance category:
There was a pregnant pause-- as pregnant as Judith had just told Darren she was (about seven and a half weeks along), which was why there was a pause in the first place.
Tracy Stapp
Santa Ana, CA
Winner: Western
The easy and comforting roll of the saddle was second nature to Luke, and as he gazed off into the distant setting sun, he wondered whether he had enough change for one more ride at the supermarket before he had to return to the home.
Glenn Lawrie
Chungnam, South Korea
The contest is based on the writings of Bulwer-Lytton, the man who first wrote "It was a dark and stormy night..."
Contestants enter a single sentence, and try to make it as horrible as possible.
And what better way to spend a muggy afternoon then perusing the finest of some truly awful writing.
My favorites are almost always from the Detective Category.
Winner: Detective
I'd been tailing this guy for over an hour while he tried every trick in the book to lose me: going down side streets, doubling back, suddenly veering into shop doorways, jumping out again, crossing the street, looking for somewhere to make the drop, and I was going to be there when he did it because his disguise as a postman didn't have me fooled for a minute.
Bob Millar
Hässelby, Sweden
Runner-Up
She'd been strangled with a rosary-not a run-of-the-mill rosary like you might get at a Catholic bookstore where Hail Marys are two for a quarter and indulgences are included on the back flap of the May issue of "Nuns and Roses" magazine, but a fancy heirloom rosary with pearls, rubies, and a solid gold cross, a rosary with attitude, the kind of rosary that said, "Get your Jehovah's Witness butt off my front porch."
Mark Schweizer
Hopkinsville, KY
Dishonorable Mention
What shocked Juliette as she entered the room was not that there was an escaped convict under her coverlet snuggling with her best teddy bear, but that there was a knife through his back, "And who," she wondered out loud, steadying herself against the faux-taffeta wallpaper, "would stab a teddy bear?"
Katie Alender
Studio City, CA
I also like this third place winner for Fantasy:
Dishonorable Mention
At Elvenheim there was great joy, in that the legendary Ring of the Nordlings had been retrieved from the evil Sudlings by the hero Bill Baggydrawers, who it must be said looked nothing like a hero, at least none I've ever seen, and the Ring had once again been placed on the middle finger of the left hand of the Elvenking, who did rather resemble a king, even if his buck teeth made him look for all the world like a great rabbit.
Wayne McCoy
Gainesville Fl
Here are some excellent dishonorable mentions from the Purple Prose category:
The highway coiled up and around the mountain like a snake ready to strike because it was being harassed by one of those annoying guys on "Animal Planet."
Brent Sheppard
Morganton, NC
The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife, not even a sharp knife, but a dull one from that set of cheap knives you received as a wedding gift in a faux wooden block; the one you told yourself you'd replace, but in the end, forgot about because your husband ran off with another man, that kind of knife.
Lisa Lindquist
Oak West, Jackson, MI
Hah! Love the Runner up in the Romance category:
There was a pregnant pause-- as pregnant as Judith had just told Darren she was (about seven and a half weeks along), which was why there was a pause in the first place.
Tracy Stapp
Santa Ana, CA
Winner: Western
The easy and comforting roll of the saddle was second nature to Luke, and as he gazed off into the distant setting sun, he wondered whether he had enough change for one more ride at the supermarket before he had to return to the home.
Glenn Lawrie
Chungnam, South Korea
Monday, July 30, 2007
Weekend of Cool Grossness
Friday night I went out with some friends to The Flying Fish, a sushi restaurant with a cool renovated "speak easy" in the basement.
Since I don't like sushi, I was perusing the salad menu when my Romanian Friend (RF) asked what I was thinking of ordering.
Me: Well, the Caesar sounds good but it comes with white anchovies.
RF: Ah, you don't like anchovies?
Me: I've never had them.
RF: Well you have to at least try them!!
BSA: If they're gross you can always just pick them off.
This is true. A fish is probably the easiest thing in the world to pick off a salad.
So I ordered the Caesar, and so did RF. When they brought out the salads the two white fish were laid dramatically across the top. I was admiring the effect of their shiny, shiny whiteness against the dark green of the romaine while RF happily speared one with a fork, and popped it in her mouth.
"It's good! Your turn."
So I speared the fish, which promptly flopped over the fork in order to show off it's flippy-floppy tail for maximum effect.
I decided that it might need a little help from a piece of romaine with lots of dressing.
And some cheese.
And maybe a crouton.
As I was trying to get the crouton on my overloaded fork RF sighed "Oh just eat it already!"
So I did. It was surprisingly good. It was neither as crunchy or as fishy as I was expecting.
***
Saturday I went to the Bodies Exhibit.
This is where people have donated their bodies to science, and the scientists have used a special plastic preservative to keep them from decaying. They have all kinds of fascinating dissections with zero nasty smell.
I have dissected my share of critters, as well as handling human cadavers and I can un-equivocally state that the lack of smell was very nice.
The skeletons with intact eyes were a little bizarre though.
Some of the specimens are preserved in action: playing basketball, conducting music, performing tai chi, etc. so that you can see what your muscles are doing when you move.
Very cool.
I think my favorite was the circulatory system. They had exhibits with all the arteries of various body parts. The amount of skill to dissect and remove all those tiny vessels intact is just mind boggling. I must have stood in front of the lower leg for 5 minutes, just staring at that amazing mass of blood vessels.
Some of the exhibits aren't very pleasant. They have specimens with cancer, smoker lungs, and other such unfortunate health problems.
The only exhibit that really creeped me out though was the human skin that had been removed in two, complete, giant pieces. Front and Back. With little holes where the eyes, nose and mouth had been. Then the two pieces laid out, front on the back, like someone had just unzipped the guy all the way around and peeled it off.
The only other thing on the table was a small placard telling you all about the amazing organ that is the human skin.
It just seemed... so wrong.
Since I don't like sushi, I was perusing the salad menu when my Romanian Friend (RF) asked what I was thinking of ordering.
Me: Well, the Caesar sounds good but it comes with white anchovies.
RF: Ah, you don't like anchovies?
Me: I've never had them.
RF: Well you have to at least try them!!
BSA: If they're gross you can always just pick them off.
This is true. A fish is probably the easiest thing in the world to pick off a salad.
So I ordered the Caesar, and so did RF. When they brought out the salads the two white fish were laid dramatically across the top. I was admiring the effect of their shiny, shiny whiteness against the dark green of the romaine while RF happily speared one with a fork, and popped it in her mouth.
"It's good! Your turn."
So I speared the fish, which promptly flopped over the fork in order to show off it's flippy-floppy tail for maximum effect.
I decided that it might need a little help from a piece of romaine with lots of dressing.
And some cheese.
And maybe a crouton.
As I was trying to get the crouton on my overloaded fork RF sighed "Oh just eat it already!"
So I did. It was surprisingly good. It was neither as crunchy or as fishy as I was expecting.
***
Saturday I went to the Bodies Exhibit.
This is where people have donated their bodies to science, and the scientists have used a special plastic preservative to keep them from decaying. They have all kinds of fascinating dissections with zero nasty smell.
I have dissected my share of critters, as well as handling human cadavers and I can un-equivocally state that the lack of smell was very nice.
The skeletons with intact eyes were a little bizarre though.
Some of the specimens are preserved in action: playing basketball, conducting music, performing tai chi, etc. so that you can see what your muscles are doing when you move.
Very cool.
I think my favorite was the circulatory system. They had exhibits with all the arteries of various body parts. The amount of skill to dissect and remove all those tiny vessels intact is just mind boggling. I must have stood in front of the lower leg for 5 minutes, just staring at that amazing mass of blood vessels.
Some of the exhibits aren't very pleasant. They have specimens with cancer, smoker lungs, and other such unfortunate health problems.
The only exhibit that really creeped me out though was the human skin that had been removed in two, complete, giant pieces. Front and Back. With little holes where the eyes, nose and mouth had been. Then the two pieces laid out, front on the back, like someone had just unzipped the guy all the way around and peeled it off.
The only other thing on the table was a small placard telling you all about the amazing organ that is the human skin.
It just seemed... so wrong.
Monday Music
I didn't really peruse any AMVs over the weekend. I was too caught up in the abridged Yugioh episodes.
So here's my favorite dance from last week's episode of SYTYCD: Pasha and Lauren's hip hop, choreographed by Shane Sparks.
Cat had a weird Greek theme going last week. At least this one is better than the thing she was wearing Thursday.
So here's my favorite dance from last week's episode of SYTYCD: Pasha and Lauren's hip hop, choreographed by Shane Sparks.
Cat had a weird Greek theme going last week. At least this one is better than the thing she was wearing Thursday.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Friday Fun
The Zuiikin English girls are back!
Stay in shape and learn helpful English phrases too. This installment teaches us how to describe important medical symptoms. Personally, the mugging phrases are still my favorite, but this made me smile.
Stay in shape and learn helpful English phrases too. This installment teaches us how to describe important medical symptoms. Personally, the mugging phrases are still my favorite, but this made me smile.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
More Harry Potter
During this interview with MSNBC, J.K. Rowling offers more details about the epilogue of Harry Potter.
Spoilers abound, so don't read it if you haven't finished the book. I'm especially grateful for the update on Luna, but still nothing on George?
Come on Rowling!! What about George?!
ADDED: Did y'all see Monday's Sally Forth? Wasn't it just adorable?
I felt that way too.
Spoilers abound, so don't read it if you haven't finished the book. I'm especially grateful for the update on Luna, but still nothing on George?
Come on Rowling!! What about George?!
ADDED: Did y'all see Monday's Sally Forth? Wasn't it just adorable?
I felt that way too.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Sweet, sweet lunch hour
How do I love thee?
Today I really wanted to try something new, so I got a deli recommendation from one of the other ninjas (along with some directions) and went in search of a new lunch experience.
I got a really good sandwich. It started out as a BLT; a quick swipe of mayo, followed by thick fluffy lettuce, tomato slices, and two pieces of bacon that appeared to have not only come from an actual pig, but where also thrown in a frying pan at some point in time. (I enjoy McDonald's breakfast sandwiches, but their version of bacon is some weird stuff.)
On top of that were fresh slices of avocado, and then a heaping ice cream scoop of egg salad.
Served of course, with a quarter sliced dill pickle. I didn't see the guy wrap it at first, and was bitterly disappointed at this breach of the deli code. Serve a sandwich without a side pickle? Madness!!
It was a really good sandwich, and totally worth yelling "I'd like a Yankee Doodle on White!" over the busy counter.
I think delis come up with sandwich names just so they can giggle when a suit comes in and says "I'd like a Big Momma on Rye" or "I'd like a Young Republican without onions."
That's my theory anyway. Deli menus, crafted with humor.
On a slightly related note, I think my local CVS has been taken by the enemy. What else explains the total lack of ho-hos or fireballs? Obviously the inventory was raided by rival ninjas in order to break my spirit. Who can face the dreaded drudgery of a Wednesday afternoon without snacks?
That's how you end up like this guy.
Today I really wanted to try something new, so I got a deli recommendation from one of the other ninjas (along with some directions) and went in search of a new lunch experience.
I got a really good sandwich. It started out as a BLT; a quick swipe of mayo, followed by thick fluffy lettuce, tomato slices, and two pieces of bacon that appeared to have not only come from an actual pig, but where also thrown in a frying pan at some point in time. (I enjoy McDonald's breakfast sandwiches, but their version of bacon is some weird stuff.)
On top of that were fresh slices of avocado, and then a heaping ice cream scoop of egg salad.
Served of course, with a quarter sliced dill pickle. I didn't see the guy wrap it at first, and was bitterly disappointed at this breach of the deli code. Serve a sandwich without a side pickle? Madness!!
It was a really good sandwich, and totally worth yelling "I'd like a Yankee Doodle on White!" over the busy counter.
I think delis come up with sandwich names just so they can giggle when a suit comes in and says "I'd like a Big Momma on Rye" or "I'd like a Young Republican without onions."
That's my theory anyway. Deli menus, crafted with humor.
On a slightly related note, I think my local CVS has been taken by the enemy. What else explains the total lack of ho-hos or fireballs? Obviously the inventory was raided by rival ninjas in order to break my spirit. Who can face the dreaded drudgery of a Wednesday afternoon without snacks?
That's how you end up like this guy.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
COLIN FIRTH ALERT!!!
What's that you say? Colin Firth is involved in a sword and sorcery pseudo-historical bio-epic?
I like Colin Firth. I really do. But the role of disillusioned Roman General has already been defined by Russel Crowe, and the rest of the movie looks, well, not good.
I like Colin Firth. I really do. But the role of disillusioned Roman General has already been defined by Russel Crowe, and the rest of the movie looks, well, not good.
Tres Chic
Friday, something horrible happened.
I opened my closet, stared at my clothes, and realized that I hated everything I owned and therefore had nothing to wear.
Since I hate clothes shopping, I decided to go for the next step and get a drastic haircut. Because if I change my hair style, my clothing will look different and I'll be interested in it again and I can avoid the horrors of trying on clothes designed for mutant stick people who should really eat a sandwich for pity's sake.
Very logical.
So Monday I found myself in a salon, featuring white couches and funky euro-techno, watching copious amounts of hair fall to the floor.
3 different people wandered by to sweep up during the hour I was there.
I want to get a stamp, so I can keep score for every hair stylist that, armed only with a comb, scissors, and spray bottle, bravily wrestles my hair until at some point they have to concede something like:
"It's SO thick"
or
"Man you have a lot of hair"
or
"I didn't seem like that much when I started"
My hair has aspirations. It wants to be the Dunwich Horror.
Anyway, an hour later I emerged with a cut I would describe as "Emo." Short and shaggy in back, with graded sides, getting longer to the front, so as to frame my face as dramatically as possible.
Hey, it worked for Spiderman.
Everyone at work seems to like it. They describe it as "chic" or possibly "shiek."
I opened my closet, stared at my clothes, and realized that I hated everything I owned and therefore had nothing to wear.
Since I hate clothes shopping, I decided to go for the next step and get a drastic haircut. Because if I change my hair style, my clothing will look different and I'll be interested in it again and I can avoid the horrors of trying on clothes designed for mutant stick people who should really eat a sandwich for pity's sake.
Very logical.
So Monday I found myself in a salon, featuring white couches and funky euro-techno, watching copious amounts of hair fall to the floor.
3 different people wandered by to sweep up during the hour I was there.
I want to get a stamp, so I can keep score for every hair stylist that, armed only with a comb, scissors, and spray bottle, bravily wrestles my hair until at some point they have to concede something like:
"It's SO thick"
or
"Man you have a lot of hair"
or
"I didn't seem like that much when I started"
My hair has aspirations. It wants to be the Dunwich Horror.
Anyway, an hour later I emerged with a cut I would describe as "Emo." Short and shaggy in back, with graded sides, getting longer to the front, so as to frame my face as dramatically as possible.
Hey, it worked for Spiderman.
Everyone at work seems to like it. They describe it as "chic" or possibly "shiek."
Monday, July 23, 2007
Drabble: Harry Potter edition
Today's 100 words writing prompt was
"In the spirit of the occasion: How would you get into (or stay out of) trouble at Hogwarts?"
I thought this was a fun idea and decided to write something up.
The Triumph of Slytherin
The test was rigged. I knew from the start that we’d been set up to fail, but there were ways around that.
I flicked dirt off my Slytherin badge and gathered my grumbling team.
I pulled out a piece of parchment and tapped it with my wand. Hartford had stolen it from the exam proctor and by activating the mirroring spell, I’d have the guide for the entire course.
I looked down as elegant writing began scrolling across the parchment.
Hartford and I smiled at each other.
“Let’s kick some Gryffindor trash.”
Following our map, we raced through the test.
Here's the background on my story.
1. Many years ago (I believe somewhere around HP:3) I went to visit my sister and her kids, who were all very excited because they found the sorting hat quiz on the Harry Potter movie website.
My various neices and nephews had all taken it and been sorted (Split evenly between HufflePuff and Gryffindor) and they wanted to see where I'd end up.
I took the test and to their great delight I was sorted into Slytherin. I was annoyed because they were all laughing at me, and because I wanted to be in Ravenclaw. So I took it again, changing my answers to be more Ravenclawey.(It's a word. I just invented it.)
Again I ended up in Slytherin. At this point my sister pointed out that since I had tried to cheat the test to get what I wanted, Slytherin was probably the right house for me. Her logic was sound, so I have accepted my snakey fate. Besides, I look good in green and silver.
2. It's based on a true story. I was at a Navy school and dominating my class. The instructors thought it would be amusing to see how I would handle various "handicaps" to the final exam simulations. At one point I had to threaten appealing for an academic review (It really did get bad) and by the end all I cared about was beating them at their own game. The real story can't be told in 100 words or less, but it was pretty hilarious, and ended with me being chased through the school by one extremely angry instructor.
So there's your lesson kids. If youcheat use resources that were never technically forbidden to you, you could find yourself running through the halls, laughing your head off, while being chased by an angry man wielding a makeshift club.
"In the spirit of the occasion: How would you get into (or stay out of) trouble at Hogwarts?"
I thought this was a fun idea and decided to write something up.
The Triumph of Slytherin
The test was rigged. I knew from the start that we’d been set up to fail, but there were ways around that.
I flicked dirt off my Slytherin badge and gathered my grumbling team.
I pulled out a piece of parchment and tapped it with my wand. Hartford had stolen it from the exam proctor and by activating the mirroring spell, I’d have the guide for the entire course.
I looked down as elegant writing began scrolling across the parchment.
Hartford and I smiled at each other.
“Let’s kick some Gryffindor trash.”
Following our map, we raced through the test.
Here's the background on my story.
1. Many years ago (I believe somewhere around HP:3) I went to visit my sister and her kids, who were all very excited because they found the sorting hat quiz on the Harry Potter movie website.
My various neices and nephews had all taken it and been sorted (Split evenly between HufflePuff and Gryffindor) and they wanted to see where I'd end up.
I took the test and to their great delight I was sorted into Slytherin. I was annoyed because they were all laughing at me, and because I wanted to be in Ravenclaw. So I took it again, changing my answers to be more Ravenclawey.(It's a word. I just invented it.)
Again I ended up in Slytherin. At this point my sister pointed out that since I had tried to cheat the test to get what I wanted, Slytherin was probably the right house for me. Her logic was sound, so I have accepted my snakey fate. Besides, I look good in green and silver.
2. It's based on a true story. I was at a Navy school and dominating my class. The instructors thought it would be amusing to see how I would handle various "handicaps" to the final exam simulations. At one point I had to threaten appealing for an academic review (It really did get bad) and by the end all I cared about was beating them at their own game. The real story can't be told in 100 words or less, but it was pretty hilarious, and ended with me being chased through the school by one extremely angry instructor.
So there's your lesson kids. If you
Harry Pottor and The Deathly Hallows
My copy arrived via UPS at 5:00 Sat evening. I finished it last night at 11:15.
It's very good. Very dark. I really want to talk about it, but find it difficult to do without spoilers.
And spoiling the ending is just un-American.
So I'll wait a little bit. I think I'll post my thoughts next week? Hopefully that will give everyone time to read it, and give me time to review a huge gaping plot hole. I think I might have missed something when I was reading it. I hope so, because it's my only major issue with the book.
So, til next Monday then.
It's very good. Very dark. I really want to talk about it, but find it difficult to do without spoilers.
And spoiling the ending is just un-American.
So I'll wait a little bit. I think I'll post my thoughts next week? Hopefully that will give everyone time to read it, and give me time to review a huge gaping plot hole. I think I might have missed something when I was reading it. I hope so, because it's my only major issue with the book.
So, til next Monday then.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Friday Funny
I love Tom Lehrer. He has the power to make math amusing. This is old, I believe the "New Math" craze swept through during the early 90s, but the song is still amusing.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
SYTYCD: Last Night's Edition
Sorry, I have no idea where we're at on this show.
I had a ripping headache last night, but through the painful haze, I'm pretty sure I had the following thoughts:
I love Pasha and Sara. They're my favorite. Even the horrible 80s spandex, suspenders, and the return of the side ponytail could not take down their combined awesomeness.
I also like Dominic and Sabra a lot too. I remember really liking their dance, whatever it was.
Does anyone else feel that the ballroom choreographer with the nasty greasy tiny soul patch is insecure about ballroom not being "cool." He seems very defensive this season, trying to make all his dances "cool" or "edgy" and gets very "upset" when the jidges diss the dance and say it is "boring."
All right. I'll stop with the "scare" "quotes."
Wade Robson is one weird dude.
Mia Michaels mullet was less prominent in this episode. Her dance... bizarre.
Mary Murphy makes my head hurt. She does give The Soup a lot of fodder though.
What did you guys think? Did you like the Mia Michaels hamburgler dance or did it just weird you out?
I had a ripping headache last night, but through the painful haze, I'm pretty sure I had the following thoughts:
I love Pasha and Sara. They're my favorite. Even the horrible 80s spandex, suspenders, and the return of the side ponytail could not take down their combined awesomeness.
I also like Dominic and Sabra a lot too. I remember really liking their dance, whatever it was.
Does anyone else feel that the ballroom choreographer with the nasty greasy tiny soul patch is insecure about ballroom not being "cool." He seems very defensive this season, trying to make all his dances "cool" or "edgy" and gets very "upset" when the jidges diss the dance and say it is "boring."
All right. I'll stop with the "scare" "quotes."
Wade Robson is one weird dude.
Mia Michaels mullet was less prominent in this episode. Her dance... bizarre.
Mary Murphy makes my head hurt. She does give The Soup a lot of fodder though.
What did you guys think? Did you like the Mia Michaels hamburgler dance or did it just weird you out?
On Copiers and Macaroni
They say that a watched pot never boils, but does the same apply to copiers. Does a watched copier always jam? Run out of paper? Wait for you to leave and the flash the error light? Evil Copier.
And why on earth does the Color Cannon smell like boiling macaroni in the first place? Am I really hungry enough that the smell of ink and burning gears is being translated as pasta in my brain?
I pondered on these thoughts as I fixed the jams and restocked the paper.
But it wasn't until I walked down the hall and reached the kitchen that I realized someone was making Top Ramen and that's what started all this boiling philosophy in the first place.
Beef Flavor by the smell of it. I used to live on that stuff in my wild undergrad days.
And why on earth does the Color Cannon smell like boiling macaroni in the first place? Am I really hungry enough that the smell of ink and burning gears is being translated as pasta in my brain?
I pondered on these thoughts as I fixed the jams and restocked the paper.
But it wasn't until I walked down the hall and reached the kitchen that I realized someone was making Top Ramen and that's what started all this boiling philosophy in the first place.
Beef Flavor by the smell of it. I used to live on that stuff in my wild undergrad days.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Awesome Political Debate
Seriously, if you wanted to get more people to watch the debates, this is a way to do it. It's politics with music video sensibilities.
The best part? When they laugh at the Kucinich girl. Down with the Evil Elf!
The best part? When they laugh at the Kucinich girl. Down with the Evil Elf!
Ninja Report: Caught in the inky blackness of a sweltering day
7:30: Catch train
7:45: Stop at airport. Warned of delays due to sick passenger.
8:00: Still at airport. Train evacuated.
8:15: Manage to battle my way through the thronging hordes AND secure a seat on the first train to make it through on the alternate track.
I hope y'all appreciate just how big of an accomplishment that is. Some of those suits wield a mean briefcase.
11:00: Things are going well despite my late start. I'm just doing normal ninja-office things, setting traps around my stapler, doing battle with the copier demon, the usual, when suddenly, all the lights go out.
11:01: Everyone sits stunned for a moment, waiting for the lights to come back on. The computers and printers are still working. The lights don't come back on.
11:02: The dark wizard from IT runs through the hall, yelling, "Log out! Log out! Log out! For the love of Confuscious shut down before the Server goes!!!"
11:02:10: I'm logged out. Because I am that good.
11:10: Scouting report confirms that some rooms have lights and power, some rooms have no light and no power, some rooms have power but no light. For reasons no one can fathom, one of the microwaves is working, but the one right next to it is not.
Casualty: The fridge. This inspires an impromptu ice cream party.
11:20: Scout reports that the phones have a three hour battery. The elevators are currently working, but an office pool has already started for when they'll die out. People start taking the stairs.
11:25: I discover that while the phone is working, the caller ID is a bit difficult to read in the dark. This prompts some fun banter between myself and fellow office ninjas until we realize that when the lights went, they took the AC with them.
11:40: Early lunch. The kitchen still has light and AC. However, the coffee machines have joined the list of casualities. There is much weeping and wailing.
1:00: Wander back to station. Begin reading by candlelight. Those who still have AC discuss the possiblity of roaming sweaty hordes crashing their offices.
2:00: The phones die. Ninja buddy and I discuss the feasability of placing an order with the pizza place across the street through semaphore.
3:00: Power is restored. The sweet, sweet breeze of cooled air pours from the ceiling like the breath of heaven.
7:45: Stop at airport. Warned of delays due to sick passenger.
8:00: Still at airport. Train evacuated.
8:15: Manage to battle my way through the thronging hordes AND secure a seat on the first train to make it through on the alternate track.
I hope y'all appreciate just how big of an accomplishment that is. Some of those suits wield a mean briefcase.
11:00: Things are going well despite my late start. I'm just doing normal ninja-office things, setting traps around my stapler, doing battle with the copier demon, the usual, when suddenly, all the lights go out.
11:01: Everyone sits stunned for a moment, waiting for the lights to come back on. The computers and printers are still working. The lights don't come back on.
11:02: The dark wizard from IT runs through the hall, yelling, "Log out! Log out! Log out! For the love of Confuscious shut down before the Server goes!!!"
11:02:10: I'm logged out. Because I am that good.
11:10: Scouting report confirms that some rooms have lights and power, some rooms have no light and no power, some rooms have power but no light. For reasons no one can fathom, one of the microwaves is working, but the one right next to it is not.
Casualty: The fridge. This inspires an impromptu ice cream party.
11:20: Scout reports that the phones have a three hour battery. The elevators are currently working, but an office pool has already started for when they'll die out. People start taking the stairs.
11:25: I discover that while the phone is working, the caller ID is a bit difficult to read in the dark. This prompts some fun banter between myself and fellow office ninjas until we realize that when the lights went, they took the AC with them.
11:40: Early lunch. The kitchen still has light and AC. However, the coffee machines have joined the list of casualities. There is much weeping and wailing.
1:00: Wander back to station. Begin reading by candlelight. Those who still have AC discuss the possiblity of roaming sweaty hordes crashing their offices.
2:00: The phones die. Ninja buddy and I discuss the feasability of placing an order with the pizza place across the street through semaphore.
3:00: Power is restored. The sweet, sweet breeze of cooled air pours from the ceiling like the breath of heaven.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Monday Music
Something a little different today. It's Dame Shirley Bassey's cover of Pink's "Get the Party Started."
Friday, July 13, 2007
Bastille Day
Tomorrow, as I'm sure you're all aware, is France's Independence Day. Every year, the French restaurant Les Halles down on 12th and Penn celebrates Bastille Day by hosting an annual waiter race.
Today I managed to schedule a really late lunch so I could go down and watch.
They had the street blocked off, with little cones designating the racing track down Pennsylvania Ave. There were red, white, and blue balloons, and the restaurant had some cooks outside. You could buy a spicy lamb sausage in a baguette, and french fries, and then they had wine on ice. Contemporary music played from a set of speakers. (Sorry Mozart!)
In the center of the block, naturally, Marie Antoinette and the Statue of Liberty were having lunch.
I found a spot on the street, plopped myself down (I'm sure I have a lovely dust mark the bottom of my black business pants), and people watched.
It was worth it to get there early, just to watch Marie Antoinette dance to Usher. The sight of a girl in full 18th Century costume dancing hip-hop inspired the old lady next to me to growl. "That girl in the wig must be hotter than hell."
It cracked me up.
Anyway, the waiters lined up (any professional server working in a restaurant in DC can sign up for the race) and a man with a thick French accent came on and listed the prizes (I'm assuming they're fabulous) and gave the rules. Between his accent and the PA system, he was a little hard to understand, but here are the ones I got.
-No Running (It's a Walk Don't Run race!)
-No Pushing
-No Punching
-No Kicking/Tripping
(These three make you wonder about past races)
-Each waiter has a small tray with a glass of water and a water bottle. If the water spills or the water bottle falls you're disqualified.
-They have to make five laps around the race course.
It was fun. There was one guy who really had the speed walking thing down. Several people got warned for almost running, one girl lost her glass of water, and one crazy lady wore heels. She got lapped twice.
Today I managed to schedule a really late lunch so I could go down and watch.
They had the street blocked off, with little cones designating the racing track down Pennsylvania Ave. There were red, white, and blue balloons, and the restaurant had some cooks outside. You could buy a spicy lamb sausage in a baguette, and french fries, and then they had wine on ice. Contemporary music played from a set of speakers. (Sorry Mozart!)
In the center of the block, naturally, Marie Antoinette and the Statue of Liberty were having lunch.
I found a spot on the street, plopped myself down (I'm sure I have a lovely dust mark the bottom of my black business pants), and people watched.
It was worth it to get there early, just to watch Marie Antoinette dance to Usher. The sight of a girl in full 18th Century costume dancing hip-hop inspired the old lady next to me to growl. "That girl in the wig must be hotter than hell."
It cracked me up.
Anyway, the waiters lined up (any professional server working in a restaurant in DC can sign up for the race) and a man with a thick French accent came on and listed the prizes (I'm assuming they're fabulous) and gave the rules. Between his accent and the PA system, he was a little hard to understand, but here are the ones I got.
-No Running (It's a Walk Don't Run race!)
-No Pushing
-No Punching
-No Kicking/Tripping
(These three make you wonder about past races)
-Each waiter has a small tray with a glass of water and a water bottle. If the water spills or the water bottle falls you're disqualified.
-They have to make five laps around the race course.
It was fun. There was one guy who really had the speed walking thing down. Several people got warned for almost running, one girl lost her glass of water, and one crazy lady wore heels. She got lapped twice.
Friday Funny
An extra special one for the 13th. One of my personal favorites, featuring the fattest horse in animated history.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)